Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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