Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The air taste purple.
Randomize
