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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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