This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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