Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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