Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
