I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
