i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
