i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
