there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
