I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She's the barista slut.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
