Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
try to milk me bitch
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