K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
