no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
