is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
