I'm passing your future prison.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize