i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
