the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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