I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
