two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Success! We fucked roommates!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
