He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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