Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
