I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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