Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
