Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
