6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
