goodnight i made you a song goodbye
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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