If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize