Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
