She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
