Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
