I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So. Much. Porn.
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