how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
