Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
