Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
