That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I AM VODKA MAN
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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