lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
