Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
