That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
