you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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