i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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