I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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