Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
