Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
