Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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