That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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