i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
