now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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