You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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