Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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