Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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