eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize