She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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