This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
