I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
