speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
