Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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