Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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