If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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