It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
