In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
