she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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