So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
