No awkward lesbian experiences without me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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