how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
