I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
